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INWO List FAQ v3.31 (The version number from Heck-New for 2000!)
Illuminati: A name you can love!
Illuminati: A name you can hate!
Illuminati: A name you can fnord!

Hello, and welcome to the Illuminati: New World Order FAQ, the FAQ that sits happily on a website minding its own business. Technically, I would consider it less a FAQ and more an RFC, as it dictates protocol more than answering questions...but hey, what's one more TLA?

(Frequently Asked Questions)
(Request For Comment)
(Three Letter Acronym)

Legal Stuff:
"Illuminati", "Illuminati: New World Order", "INWO", and "Assassins!" are trademarks of Steve Jackson Games. This page and others located nearby have been created without authorization from Steve Jackson games, quoting a limited amount of material from INWO (where necessary) in order to stay within the limits of fair use.

This FAQ is split up into sections:

I. The Dirty Work
A. Subscribing
B. Unsubscribing
C. Buying/Selling/Trading
D. Homebrew Cards
E. Posting
II. How Things Work
A. Card Formats
B. Flaming
C. Subject headers
D. Signatures
E. Digests
III. The Fun Part!
A. The Illuminati Song
B. The Illuminati University Theme Song
C. Cthulhu-Maniacs
D. Sung from Under the Bed
E. Unsubscribe!
F. Sites!

It was brought to our attention that the INWO List FAQ, being the Spawning Larcenous Behemoth (TM) that it is, takes up a lot of space/time. So, in order to be all things to all people (this takes a lot of practice, trust us), the FAQ here for your benefit in its full sprawled-out glory.  Enjoy!

So, if you have something you want to see a link to in this FAQ, please contact me! If it's illuminated, tell me about it! If you see a misspelling or error (not a minor contextual variation, which the Secret Masters urged me to do to keep everyone on their toes) you are welcome to a CotW-style prize and mention in this FAQ.

Now, on with the illumination!

I. The Dirty Work

A. Subscribing

You say to yourself (and whoever might be listening in), "Hey, I like INWO. I like people. Where are the people who play INWO?!?" Well, I shall reveal to you the secret that They rather you not know about. To join the Illuminated Ones simply send an email message to with "subscribe inwo-list" in the body of the message (no Subject neccessary). You'll find lots of posts about rules questions and play suggestions. Follow the instructions given to you by your new masters. Bury your money in a cigar box in your back yard. 8^) Subscriptions are processed by hand, so please hold off on trying to speed up the process by propitiating the Old Ones with the family dog for at least 24 hours. It takes even longer over the holidays.

Also, for those of you who wish to be able to post from multiple accounts but not slog through mail *from* the list to each of those accounts, your List Owner, Glen Barnett, has come up with something really damn cool.  Email with "subscribe inwo-x" in the body of the message (no Subject necessary).  This will allow you to post from that email address without receiving the list.  Cool, eh?  Glen rocks.  And you can do that for as many addresses as you want.

B. Unsubscribing

Goddess forbid someday you find your life (or other's!) so filled with confusion and chaos that you must depart... what is an immortal to do? (If a cluttered email box represents a cluttered mind, what does an empty email box represent?) What horrible and sickening thing must you do to win the approval of the Secret Masters so that you may leave this wretched place? Just send a message to with "unsubscribe inwo-list" in the body of the message (no Subject necessary). Don't send such a request to quit the list to the list itself! Only one man can do anything about your subscription...and he will cause you pain if you annoy him.  Don't pick on the list administrator; it's not good for your health.
This is the format that majordomo accepts for any list you are subscribed to and wish to desubscribe--but (obviously) put the name of the list you wish to exit from in your message instead of "inwo-list" unless you *want* to unsubscribe from the inwo-list...oh, bugger, this is getting too complicated. Just don't unsubscribe, okay? The Great Old Ones wouldn't like it.

C. Buying/Selling/Trading

As a note, trades are not posted to either the General INWO Mailing List or INWO-cards; there is a separate list specifically set up so that people may buy, sell and trade INWO cards. To subscribe to the trading list, send a message to with "subscribe inwo-trades" in the body (no Subject necessary). However, you don't need to subscribe to inwo-trades; others will see your message when you post there.
Don't spam us: we'll spam you. Posting a trade to the INWO-list rather than Inwo-trades list is like tattooing "Please Jake Me" on your forehead. It's somewhat similar to posting a homebrew card to the INWO-list, except that that makes Cthulhu roll over in his sleep. And we wouldn't want that. Well, most of us.

D. Homebrew Cards

Also, there is a separate list for those who believe that the current list of preprinted cards is just not good enough and that something else should be added. Well, we can't guarantee that your card will be added to a new INWO expansion, but we can guarantee that you'll be looked at oddly by hundreds of INWO players around the world. To subscribe, send a message to with "Subscribe inwo-cards" in the body of your text (no Subject necessary). The inwo-cards list exists for people (and other things) to get feedback on their cards. If you crosspost an idea of yours to the inwo-list, you may be disinvited. The listowner knows what he likes, and he doesn't like people who don't pay attention to instructions.

E. Posting

You think you can match wits with the rest of the Illuminated ones? Well, you're probably right. To post a message to the list, send to; that is, if you're a member. Yes, due to high spam, the lists have gone over to members-only posting. Oh, and the Secret Masters frown upon those who quote needlessly. Please try to keep the signal high and the noise low.

Obviously (well, kinda; otherwise we wouldn't have this FAQ!) if you want to post a message about a trade, send to, and about homebrew cards to

Other things you should remember: Please limit flamage; try to stay on subject; keep the size of your signature files trimmed; if you go off subject and are asked to take your subject to email, do so; don't quote needlessly when replying to a posting; take a stab at spelling any language you're using correctly; follow instructions!!!; don't post messages in HTML format (people tend to ignore it, as it's difficult to read), MIME format, or quoted-printable encoding for newsgroup postings, and please avoid posting copyrighted material where you can get sued. Your postings go to many many people, and if you fill their mailboxes with junk they will not be pleased. Play nice with all, and all will conquer the world and enslave you and your descendants. Unless you're a member of the DNRC.

As regards crossposting to multiple lists: the only postings that really should go to both inwo-cards and the inwo-list are things like list-FAQ's, Admin posts, that kind of thing. Don't bother sending anythinge else to both lists - if it's about INWO, they'll either see it on the inwo-list or they don't want to see it. If it's a card idea, everyone who wants to regularly see them is already reading the cards-list; you waste their time by making them see it twice. Those people who don't want to see card ideas, and so don't read the cards list, get something they don't even want to read once.

Finally, an occasional complaint about the size of the emailed FAQ(s) is sent to one or both lists. There is usually a discussion, and a consensus. The majority of list-members have always chosen receiving the INWO-List FAQ monthly. You may disagree, and opinions may change, but bear this in mind before posting.

II. How Things Work

Like in any small community, certain rules of conduct arise, not only to maintain what little civility INWO players have left, but to ease communication. So here's how it goes:

A. Card Formats

This is the requested format for posting to the inwo-cards list. It doesn't hurt when you're placing a spoiler of an existing card on the inwo-list either, but that's neither here nor there. Spoilers are illegal.

i. Groups, Places and Personalities

Type: Group
Name: <name>(personality, organization, or place, if desired)
Graphic: what you picture the card looking like
Color Text/Quote: "<whatever>"
Card Text: (What the card does)
Power: # Resistance: #
Control Arrows: In: (T or B) Out: (T, B, L or R)

ii. Plots and Resources

Type: (Plot, Resource, Goal, or NWO <R, B, or Y>)
Name: <name>
Color Text/Quote:
Card Text:
Optional 2nd color text:
Requirements: (ie.. Requires action or discards, etc.; Disaster!, Gadget Artifact)

iii. Illuminati:

Type: Illuminati
Special Ability
Special Goal

For example, the Card Convenience Stores would look like this:

Name: Convenience Stores
Graphic: side shot of the local Stop -n- Loot with barbed wire around it.
Quote or Color Text: none
Card Text: There's one on every corner...a worldwide network of informers. Any group card you play as an "agents" card gets an extra +5 for either attack or defense. If anyone else plays an "agents" card, you may give them the +5 at no cost. The Convenience Stores have no effect on the power of duplicate Illuminati cards.
This group has +10 against any Attack to Destroy.
Power: 1 Resistance: 2
Alignments: corporate
Attributes: none
Requirements: none
Control Arrows: In:T Out:R

As an aside, this format is merely to be easy on the eyes. We've grown used to it. You can post ideas in any way you want, but this design will fit on one screen, and you can grok it more easily. Also, suggested maximum on card text for homebrew cards is 80; parse your text carefully and well. Illuminati have especially sparse text, so be careful how much you say. The further you deviate from this format, the lower the odds are that people will understand what you're sending. Don't forget to set your column width to 70 - this makes it easy for people to respond to what you said and leave your text legible.

B. Flaming

All flaming shall be reserved for Steve Jackson Games ;) No personal flames. Got it?

C. Subject Headers

The INWO mailing list is a high-volume mailing list. Not all of us have the time to read everything in the hopes it might interest us. So, to help in the decision makingprocess, here are some suggested labels:

Type of post:
Rules Question [RULES] <Concerning>
Flame [FLAME] <What about SJG pisses you off>
Rant [RANT] <What about INWO pisses you off>
Noise [NOISE] <Stuff that will never fit in anywhere else>
Fluff [FLUFF] <"Noise" lite, of even less value than [NOISE]>
NetRep [NETREP] <Hello? Steve? Hello? Are you there?>
SubGenius [SUBGENIUS] <Praise "Bob", it's neater than canned antelope!>
Bavarian Fire Drill [BFD] <So cool, it's "YNCFT"> -yes, it *is* the next INWO expansion
Administrativa [ADMIN] <Hi, I'm unsubscribing these, Glen>

Post [TRADES] to Inwo-trades, por favor.

And of course, for inwo-cards, it wouldn't hurt to put this on your header:
New Group [GROUP] <Group Name>
New Plot [PLOT] <Plot Name>
Don't be a nimrod and post things as [CARD],'s obviously a card, as you're posting the darn thing to the cards list!

Mind you, your post(s) don't have to fall into these categories, but if it does, it's helpful if you label it as so. Feel free to suggest new categories.

D. Signatures

Five or less lines seems to keep everybody happy. If your .sig is longer than your actual post, you should consider either increasing the size of your posts or decreasing the size of your .sig. If you post a one line message and your .sig is 12 lines long, you're an idiot. A big idiot.

E. Digests

For those of you who have a more hellish bent, you can check out the old digests archive at (er, it seems to be broken) or the new one at seems to actually provide
the best access to mailing list digests on, though.  Keep
that in mind.
If you wish to receive digests only, subscribe to inwo-digest or inwo-card-digest to
Of course, if you have questions about the abilities of the majordomo, send it a message with "help" in the body of your text and it will tell you what it can do for you.. Or with you. It all depends on whether Eliza is actually responding to you... :)

III: The fun part!

A. The Illuminati Song (to the tune of The Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby") by Steve Jackson, Joe Vail and Creede Lambard

They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door...
What is it for?

Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green...
What does it mean?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow...
Where are they now?

Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man...
What is their plan?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.

The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car...
Are they bizarre?

You can't escape them;
Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru...
They'll be there, too...

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati.... They're everywhere I go.

I know that they know all about me...
They know that I know all about them...

Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text...
Who will be next?

They're all around us...
Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see...
How can it be?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.
The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They're in the attic and the cellar...
Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller...

Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there...
Why do they care?

They're out to get me...
They're fluoridating my water from their UFO...
What do they know?

The Illuminati... They're everywhere, I see.
The Illuminati... And no one knows but me.

B. The Illuminati University Theme Song (to the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme) by John M. Ford

We deal in illusion, hypnosis and confusion
And this institution has its eye on all below!
A liberal college of weird forbidden knowledge
Our classes cover everything Man Wasn't Meant To Know!
Behold the ancient buildings where our scholars work and dwell
They move when no one's looking and they all connect to Hell!
Through these eldritch portals we don't get many mortals
And everything considered, guess it's just as well!
Here man and cetacean serve up an education
In Space and Time Dilation, and Paradoxes too!
Experimentation with genes and radiation
Makes every graduation a triumph for the few!
The Archdean is an angel and the Art Curator's mad
And here you need a parachute to get through Drop and Add!
If you find you're dying', well don't you start acryin'
We'll bring you back from the dead and we're sure you're glad!
There's placement and pretest in Science Weird and Weirdest
Our annual Samhainfest and Necronomicomp!
Take Ethics for Tyrants or Laboratory Violence
Call Military Science, the Ogre's on the stomp!
Illuminated attitudes pervade our faculty
From Evil Stevie's Library to Arcane R & D!
We're deep and we're dotty at dear Illuminati
The Higher Mystic Institute for one and all!
(I OUoooo)
...Admissions down the hall!

C. CTHULHU-MANIACS (to the tune of the Animaniacs theme song)
by: Arthur Levesque (This song is located on the Web, and that's where the link goes!)

Words: Kay Shapero
Words copyright Kay Shapero, 1983
Sent via Arthur Levesque

Tune: Cecilia*

CHORUS: Cthulhu, you're breaking my mind.
My sanity's vanishing daily!
Oh, Cthulhu, I'm down on my knees
I'm begging you, please go away,
Go away!

I picked up this ancient book
By some guy named Abdul AlHaz'red (AlHaz'red)
Read two chapters; now it seems
You're disturbing my days and you're haunting my dreams.


Halfawake in the early morn
With my lover sleeping by my side (by my side)
When I feel a nameless dread
And I turn on the light, I find you in my bed!


Hiding out in the afternoon
In a room at Miskatonic U (hiding out)
Elder Signs from ceiling to floor,
And there's starstones to block off the windows and door.
Consternation! He's found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver.
Consternation! He's found me again,
I crawl in the closet and shiver.....

* With the author's apologies to Simon, Garfunkel, and H.P. Lovecraft...

E. Unsubscribe! by Paul Birnbaum
(the tune is original...I can't write it, so make up your own if you like)

<A chorus line of dancing girls scattering INWO cards in the background, while the lead sings:>


I didn't want to get the mail anymore
I was trying to ignore
All the news


I'm not as interested as I once was
I am bored by the buzz
and the views.

The game is tame
The cards, the same
Oh, what a shame
Steve Jackson's Fame
Is past its prime

I've had enough
I sold the stuff
(and that was rough)
But it's not tough
To - have - more - free - time!

So I want to...


F. Sites

This is the 'net, and if you in some form or another come in contact with Mass Media, you'll know it's the coolest thing since sliced bread (tm)... at least, that's what The Network would like you to think. None the less there is a plethora of cool sites out there that have something to do with INWO.

For those who have complained of references to documents on the Web that they cannot reach, due to lack of access, Glen Barnett has informed us of a mechanism to receive data from WWW addresses without having to actually have anything more than regular email access.
To get a page, simply send mail to the address with the message (i.e. not just Subject)

GO <web-address (i.e. the URL)>

e.g. to get use: GO

The reply contains a heap of information, including how to get documentation (just put "DOC" where "GO" was); the requested page in html; the requested webpage in plain text (looks just like it does in Lynx); and some lists of most requested pages.

Note that response times are slow, so you wouldn't want to go surfing this way.

USEFUL (illuminated) ADDRESSES

Steve Jackson Games ( ) You know, the company that made INWO? They even have pages and pages of neat links that way outdoes anything we could say here. But hey! Here's a few to whet your appetite.

The INWO Homepage ( ) You know, the game you'd sell your life savings for? Also, investigate their two pages of links towards the end of their listing of stuff...things like the Unofficial INWO pages and the page of Miscellaneous pages.  Now that your INWO-List FAQ dude is also the INWO website guru, a lot of these links here will move there.  Put it all in one place, I say...

If you've a deep need to skip directly to the official errata, the address is (

The Assassins! Homepage ( ) The Great Cthulhu salivates at the mere thought of the Assassins addon for INWO.

The INWO-SubGenius Homepage ( is your source for information about the most recently printed expansion. Information about the BFD expansion is classified at this level.

For those interested in playing INWO (or other SJG games) the place to go is (, where SJG lets people know what conventions they know their stuff will be promoted and/or played at. If you know something they don't, let them know, eh?  And if you're just looking for a local to game with, go to ( and input your data and search!

And speaking of SJG's operatives, you can see the information that's been released to the public at (

The infamous Essen Deck (an example of a highly degenerate yet winning deck) is online at (

And if you can't find it anywhere, you know one place you can still get it--SJ Games!  Here's their url:

Finally, for fans of the Illuminated Site of the Week, check out the Daily Illuminator at - there's a page where it's archived separately, but you could just page
backwards through the Daily Illuminator...which is pretty Illuminated itself!

The Deck of the Week are semi-weekly selections, (started by Aaron Curtis, handed off to Brian Strassman and secretly slipped to Ralph Melton at is now run by Alex Yeager and maintained on the web by Scott McNair. The Deck of the Week Website's current location is Please update your links accordingly. Past locations for the DotW include, and ( ).

Glen Barnett says: "Some of you, like me, don't get all the newsgroups, and would love to know what (if anything) happens on (say) ... well, take a look at and if you search in the interests part (the second field) for "INWO" (say), it'll lead you to it (among other things), and you can browse back through what's been posted to that group."

Arthur Levesque's INWO icons for Macintosh and Windows are at  I make no apologies for his choice of backgrounds.

The useful autoflame function at ( isn't especially illuminated, but it is quite fun. Try it out!

Visit the False Temple of Glen Barnett (the Heresiarch) at --it has statistics on INWO that the Temple of Glen Barnett (the other one) doesn't. What's in it, you might ask? Check out the link and see for yourself, smart guy! Also, you should see the same thing, but with /dti.html at the end, for the Dirty Tricks Archive.

The John Dillinger Died for YOU Society, run by Terry Chilvers. More useful if your base of operations is in Western Australia, less so for those who don't have access to the Tibetan tunnels linking the world together. This page also contains the Temple of Glen Barnett.

Glen Barnett points us to the wisdom of the ages (or, at least, the wisdom of Monty Python) at

Pagan Publishing offers a delightful little Plush Stuffed Cthulhu toy. They've got a new website, at Check them out! is the home of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. It's a loud and obnoxious page, just like the Republicans.

For all you llamaphiles, Lynette found a "Llama-cam" for us. No further explanation should be necessary...I would hope. Go to it!

If you are feeling a simple desire to quickly sell your soul to Satan, there used to be a submission page to do so.  This has apparently been subsumed into a weird site called

This website on Canadian world domination was forwarded to my attention by Arthur Levesque <>, so you know to beware of what you might find there.

Arthur also instructs us to "read & learn" about joining the forces of darkness at is the new home of the INWO ratings page, brought to you by Marc Sherman.  Woo hoo, ratings are back!  8^)

In case you didn't already know, Steve Dickie has restored the INWO Tick expansion set. Many of you may be interested. You can find this at

More updates coming soon!

Defunct URL's:
We hope that one day these will again be correct. Until then, they reside here.

Actually, some of them bounce to really odd stuff.  Maybe they still *are* illuminated!

Trajectories (The Journal of Futurism and Heresy) at ( ), which apparently champions Illuminatus! author Robert Anton Wilson (a source for much illumination.) This does not seem to work any longer, so it's (for now) unlinked. If you know where it's gone, feel free to let me know.

Archive 23 ( ) A warehouse of homebrew card ideas, run by Doug Sheppard <>.

The Dirty Trick Web Site archives all back issues (only 2 so far, with another on the way soon) and also allows you to submit your very own dirty trick for possibleinclusion in the newsletter. Heh. You can find it at

The Regi$tered Trademark MAVURAQ at < >. It answers all possible questions you might have about a particular card from Assassins.

Also, feel free to look at - this secret manuscript has information explaining how the Illuminati are secretly Microsoft, or vice-versa.

The Good Don Fnordlioni says that the WWW version of the UFAQ is now located at so update your pointers appropriately!

The Theatre of Noise includes information on INWO and several other (important? maybe.) TCG's and CCG's. All of this is written for the beginner as well as advanced players. There's details of the games that are hard to find anywh else, and a full CCG glossary. New to The Theatre of Noise are solitaire rules for INWO. These have been thoroughly playtested by helpful volunteers on the INWO list. robin's helpful URL is

One of Ralph's favorite conspiracy sites is the Fifty Greatest Conspiracies of All Time site at . Strangely enough, they're now up to Sixty Conspiracies.

And if you've a question about a card ruling, and don't feel like searching the ftp site at, Steve Hatherley maintains the INWO UFAQ (Unofficial FAQ), previously with the aid of Don Fnordlioni. He also has links to some of the places listed above, but you get what you pay for. You've been warned. Steve's webpage is located at
If you're reading this at Steve's site, then you already know what I just said. This is just like deja vu! And if you're reading this at my site, Steve may just take his down. It won't go on forever.

Gary McGath recommends James Randi's An Encyclopedia of Claims, Frauds, and Hoaxes of the Occult and Supernatural. This entertaining and informative book has short articles on many topics which are related to INWO cards. A review of it is available on his site:

Check out for a currently non-existent version of the INWO Concordance.

--and, if you need an explanation as to why the works of Monty Python are the best introduction to contemporary analytic philosophy, try

Finally, Glen discovered a largish Cthuloid filk site at - just don't say any of it out loud.

Jason Corley (via Alex Yeager) says: step right up and get your daily dose of conspiracy theory at:

Lynette Cowper was doing various web searches for the phrase Bavarian Fire Drill or Bavarian Firedrill and hit this page: and asked the burning question: "Anyone know whether the BFD referenced is INWO?"  To which she received an answer from Sam Kington: "Dunno, but he *does* have some interest in INWO/Illuminati. Witness: - Illuminopoly - Monopoly with power structures, destruction, subversion, and the Bank can be bribed, or even win..."  Your guess is as good as
ours.  I guess we could ask the guy who made the page, but that might be cheating.

Ian Soboroff suggests we take a gander at ( collects window manager 'themes', ways of making a Unix desktop look pretty... his page has wallpaper tiles, but is hilarious to read).  It's if people don't like this information here, I'll take it out.  But I think it belongs...

Alex Yeager informs: "For those interested in the Polish set, wander out the the SJG ftp site. If you wander through the inwo-digests from the last part of March 1997, Grzegorz Bonikowski posted some firsthand info regarding Illuminati: Nowy Wariant Ogolnoswiatowy, including a (unofficial) listing of Polish-to-English equivalents for INWO cards. Side note: there were no unique cards for the Polish set, and just the basic set was released (including Trading Card Games, Pyramid Marketng Schemes, and The Great Pyramid). You might try his site, too: - it's good even if you can't read Polish.


Nothing happens without help (even the Secret Masters will tell you so... if they talk to you ;) Entities who threw in their US$.02: (apologies if any are defunct)
Man In Black <> (defunkt)
Kritter <>
Seth A. Cohen <>
Terry Chilvers <>
Aaron Curtis <>
Daniel O. Myers <>
Lance A. Brown <>
Lynette R. F. Cowper <>
Keith Glass <> <><>
Ben Matasar <>
Michael Bowman <><>
Joe Malik <>
Peter Gleeson <>
Alex Hume <>
Arthur Levesque <>
Glen Barnett <g.barnett@unsw.EDU.AU>
Sam Kington <>
Jason Hogue <>
Gary McGath <>
Steve Brinich <>
Ralph Melton <>
Scott Mcnair <>
Allan Babb <>
Alex Yeager <>
Nina Jansen <>
Ian Soboroff <>
Robert Dubisch <>
Marc Sherman <>
Steve Dickie <>
Paul Birnbaum <>

This FAQ has been secretly funded by The Network, The Invisible Hand Society, and that great guy Cthulhu... let's have a "Woooah, Cthulhu!"
If you have any comments and/or suggestions, please post them to the INWO-list or mail them to me. Don't send them to Cthulhu. He might bring them to me personally.



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